Saturday, February 2, 2013

When Straight Men Have Sex With Other Men

"There is a lot of talk about Bromances these days. The urban dictionary definition of a bromance is described as "complicated love and affection shared by two straight males." But what if the two men decide to have sex? Does that make then gay or bisexual? When girls do this in Girls Gone Wild they are not accused of being latent lesbians or bisexuals. Their sexual orientation is not speculated about at all as it turns out. But this is different for men. There's growing evidence that many men who have sex with men aren't all gay or bisexual. According to the Centres for Disease Control, more than 3 million men (in the US) who self-identify as straight secretly have sex with other men.

A recent New York City survey that appeared in the September 19, 2006 issue of the Annals of Internal Medicine found that nearly one in ten men say they're straight and have occasional sex with men. In addiction, 70 percent of these men are heterosexually married. In fact, 10 percent of all married men in this survey reported engaging in same-sex behavior during the previous year."  Full story here!

SOURCE:  www.straightguise.com

RELATED: Why Some Straight Men Are Romantically or Sexually Attracted to Other Men

56 comments:

Anonymous said...

Straight guys who have had, continue to have, or want to have sex with other guys. It’s out there for sure. In fact, as some studies have reported, somewhere up to 46% of all guys have had sex to the point of orgasm with another guy at some point in their lives. And that’s ALL guys, straight and gay alike.

So, if you look at it a different way, next time you and 9 of your friends get together, chances are 4 or 5 out of the 10 of you either have done it or will do it at some point in their lives. Maybe one of those 4 or 5 are you.

Anonymous said...

Sex is sex. Love is love. Sometimes they overlap, but not necessarily. I've had sex with straight men. They have families, love their wives, but sometimes the spouse doesn’t give them all they want to experience. They found it better to have sex with a buddy and not another woman to avoid the possibility of romantic entanglement. They were not at all interested in a relationship, they just wanted to experiment. Who cares? Sex is fun. It's good. Enjoy it when you can, and don't judge others when they do. We as a 'community' are judged all the time. Shouldn't we, of all people, know better than to judge another person for who they have sex with?

And for the record, I identify myself as a man who happens to be gay, not a gay man. There's more to me then just one label and all those labels combined equal a unique individual, as with most people (although I have met some one-dimensional individuals in my life too). I don't see any reason to have to categorize anyone else. Live and let live. Fuck and let fuck.

Lex said...

If I were to have sex with a woman as a gay dude, no one would question my gayness. If a woman has sex with a woman, no one would question her straightness. If a straight man has sex with another man, he's automatically gay.

I'm sick of this cultures desire for black and white labeling. The world doesn't operate with such explicit polarization.

SteveDenver said...

I love it when my straight neighbor shows up late and is really drunk, invites me over for a beer, then heads into the bathroom and takes a shower. I know it's ON.

I know lots of straight guys who kiss in bars, because it turns on girls who want to feel the power of initiating a 3-way where they're the center of attention.

Maybe their labels are kind of blurry, I love it.

Anonymous said...

Those straight bois do like to play. That's it, just play and afterward there doesn't have to be anything else said (until the next time). ;)

G. Scott said...

In high school (9th grade)at Bathroom break, all of the boys in my class pissed first and then compared the size of their erected cocks with one another. When the bell rang, the little episode was over, and all returned to normal (http://amzn.com/1460948645)

Anonymous said...

Oh come on people! I've had a lot of random gay sex. Reckon around half of them are obviously straight men who want a jackoff blowjob or a fuck with another man. I've had plenty of sex with women in the past and no woman has ever come close to jacking or sucking me the way a man does. That's cos he knows what feels good.
I don't believe many if any of these men have sex with men cos they're gay, they do it to get what the little woman doesn't give, then go back to the wife and kids they love. Go to a paid entry gay bar at four or five in the afternoon and it will be full of men in suits with their cell turned off who've told the wife they're "at a meeting" and are getting their dick sucked.
Why is that a problem? As long as both or all parties enjoy themselves and use condoms for anal, where's the harm - indeed it might help the marriage as the man is fulfilled in all his sexual needs.

Anonymous said...

Im 49 and recently found a freind with benifits, we met at a gym. we are both married and in sexless marriages. We just wacked in the showers at the gym first ,moved on to wacking each other.Now we've become oral buddies. I can't see why alabel has to be put on this.

Anonymous said...

There's a lot of ignorance displayed here, primarily by gay men who don't even know about the origins and natural occurrence of their own sexuality.

It's remarkable that so many gay men dictate to others what THEY are or should be, hypocrites much?

For those here who are too ignorant and arrogant to educate themselves about their own sexuality, I'll help you out just a little...

Homosexuality is a Human invention. Heterosexuality is a Human invention. Bisexuality is - wait for it - a HUMAN INVENTION!

No other species on the planet segregates and categorises itself depending on whether they have sex with a male or female companion, and almost every species has been PROVEN to be bisexual, often changing between male and female partners to varying degrees throughout their lives.

Sexuality is a scale, but then if any of you had actually bothered to read something decent about your own sexual identity in the course of your limited lives, you'd know that already. Turn off the Kardashian's and grow a freakin brain.

Men can sleep with men or women and call themselves whatever they like, it is not your place to scream and shout about it, and especially when so many of you are so uneducated to begin with.

The arrogance of calling respected scientists and biologists idiots or liars because you can't remove your socially ingrained delusions about sexuality is truly astounding!

Yes, you who wouldn't know who Kinsey is if he blew you in an alley, you who doesn't know when the first definition of "homosexuality" was written, you who doesn't even remember the guys you jerked with as a teen who then got married and had kids... yes, you're more enlightened than these highly educated sexual researchers and biologists with decades of experience in the field and hundreds of scientific papers under their names.

Idiots.

Anonymous said...

Can I share a story with you in regard to something I experienced with a "straight guy"

A little over five years ago, I had a friend who was supposedly straight (His name is Brian). Although, I have had several straight friends who knew that I was a gay man, however, they had no problem with my sexual orientation and loved me for the individual that I am. I was very close with Brian's immediate family and at the time, only his sister knew that I was gay. Therefore, once the relationship between he and I became close, I decided to inform him of my sexual orientation. Not only did he accept and embraced me for telling him, he also began to hang around me all the time instead of his girlfriends and buddies.

In order to condense this story; let me get to the main parts of concern. What I found really surprising was that after spending just about every day around each other at my place, he started flirting and even getting naked around me. He told me several times that he was falling in love with me but he was scared of accepting the fact that he may be gay or bisexual and because of his ethnic background, his family would have nothing to do with him if this came out.

Because I am the type of person who does not force anyone on me, especially someone who is confused, the more I kept my distance, the more he tried to pursue me into having sex with him. One night, Brian got butt naked and started telling me how he wanted us to explore each other and see where it goes and that he would do whatever I wanted because the night was special. However, after touching and fondling each other's bodies, he started moaning and when I went to give him a blowjob, all of a sudden, I felt a fist whacked me across my jaw, and then he pushed me back and said "You fucking faggot!, I was just teasing you just to see how far you would go, I didn't want this to happen. I was in such a total shock from his physical attack that he went on to straddle me and preceded to beat me with his fists while I covered my face to avoid his punches.

I immediately knocked him off of me and told him to leave or I will call the police. He reluctantly left after I had to keep threatening him several times. All of a sudden, he began to freak out afterwards stating that I was trying to make him GAY. .I told him that I cannot make him GAY, and from him pursuing me in the manner that he did, let me know that I was not the first guy that he had encountered with his stupid game playing because I would see things within his mannerism after spending so much time around me.
He even confessed to me that he cannot be a gay man because if his family ever found out, they would totally disown him and he could not live without them. I got a call from Brian a couple of days later begging me could he please come by and talk and how sorry he was about what happened. I finally gave in and he came in the door crying hysterically while begging for my forgiveness, and yet, still confessing how much he loves me but he is so confused. I eventually accepted his apology and suggested that we should start fresh and work on building a friendship and nothing more. He reluctantly agreed. I have not heard from him in years.

Anonymous said...

I had a "Straight" Friend by the name of Maurice who I thought was straight, one day a guy came into a SOP ( sex on premises) place and sat next to me, it was dark and as we were watching the porn I reached over and felt him up. lol, it turns out it was him he had a baseball cap pulled down over his face so that was the reason I did not recognise him, he confronted me about it at his place a few days later saying I touched his D*** and he was angry and so on, well I after a few years of not talking about it let it go except that after he married he started playing a game when after I had been to his place for dinner he would wait until his wife had turned his back on him and was facing toward me and start fondling himself in front of me trying to show how much he had between his legs.... I confronted him at my place once when he came over for a visit as I was sick of it and he again acted like I was deluded, gladly he is no longer my friend, honestly I hope one day his wife does find out

Anonymous said...

There is a differences between two girls making out in front of a camera because their drunk and want to get on tv and get attention from men, and two men who have sex in private, so there is no point in comparing them. And also if two women were to have sex, there sexualities would definitely be question and if a self identifying gay man were to have sex with a women his gayness would also be questioned, there really isn't as much of a double standard as you seem to think. It's simply that at party's men are more likely to judge other men who make out with eachother for the attention of women, there's also a much stronger negative connotation between two men kissing than with two women. That and women ask men to kiss at parties less often than men ask women.

Anonymous said...

I was with a guy we had a few drinks and hen back to his hotel room had another drink and I could see he wanted me he was married .So I cuddled and sucked him off several times that night.It I never though I was gay or bi but something just came over me and I wanted it.
I got married later had good sex life than my wife started having sex with other guys I could taste the cum than she knew I knew and I enjoyed eating her out so she would have them do it outside the house come in so I could eat her out.After we split up I started seeing a couple of old guys just sucking them. Than I remarried but had an old guy I would visit I called him daddy he loved it had sex several time but most times I would drop in after work and suck him off.My wife loved having anal and than get her dildo and do me analy than I would cum in her and suck her clean.
I think if I didn't have that sexual relationship with men sex would be boring.as my wifeves loved me eating cum and it lead to kinky sex which I have with my boyfriend to so there is nothing wrong with it also a lot of male animals have sex with male animals and they enjoy it and no one thinks anything of it

Anonymous said...

I think two factors are manipulating these figures.

Firstly, gay men must be inflating the statistics in this 'research' to flatter themselves and satisfy their own fantasies of having sex with straight men.

Straight men are attracted to women, gay men are attracted to men, and bisexual men are attracted to both sexes. Simple.

This leads me to my next point.

I think there must be a lot of bisexual men who identify as straight, because a number of these men are having, and enjoy having, sex with other men. By definition this means they can't be straight, so in reality, it's just bisexual men having sex with other men. This is increasingly happening as more men are allowing themselves to become sexually liberal without suppressing their urges.

I think a small number of men are completely, 100 per cent straight, and a number fall somewhere else on the scale.

John said...

Enough now of labeling!!!

Anonymous said...

I am a 55 year old man who had sex with my 27 year old male cousin. He is straight and I'm bisexual. I enjoyed very much and I'm sure he did too.

WickedGayBlog.com said...

Apparently, a lot of people try gay sex, but only about half stick with it. By ages 18-19, 10 percent of men say they've performed fellatio. That number drops among men in their 20s and 30s. But among men in their 40s and 50s, 13 percent say they've done it, and 14 percent to 15 percent say they've received it from another man. Meanwhile, 11 percent of men aged 20-24 say they've received anal sex. For unknown reasons, that number declines in the next higher age bracket but then steadily rises in succeeding brackets, leveling off at 9 percent among men in their 40s and 50s.
Remember, these are "have you ever" questions. When men aged 20-59 are asked whether they've performed fellatio in the past year, the number is more like 6 percent. And only 4 percent say they've received anal sex in that time. But that's a big jump from 1992, when only 2 percent of men admitted to sex with a man in the preceding year.

Anonymous said...

I'm 44 years old, and have only had hetero sex since the age of 17. But for about 3 years (14-17) I had an ongoing sexual relationship with a male friend about my age. I was always the penetrator and he the penetratee. Although I did suck his cock a couple of times. I chalk it up to it being probably the horniest period of my life and not having any willing female participants. That said, today I sometimes fantasize about sex with nubile young men and look at twink porn (I like naked women too, and look at them relatively more often, fwiw...) My friend is on my facebook, btw. Lives several states away. He's married, I'm married... Haven't talked to him about this since we were both 17. When he sent the friend request on FB, it made me hard. Just a data point. Make of it what you will.

Matt Cruz said...

I think all men have some gays want to try it or think about it. Its just how you use it and most straight men are not going to say ohhot yea I was thinking about getting my ass hammered by a guy. Well just my opinion but You know all you hot guys want to try it once before.

Matt Cruz said...

If I were a man I sure would be all over every guy I could.

Anonymous said...

Bt it is very hard 2 pearkout i just want to test it too bt I am not gay

Anonymous said...

I am a transgender female and I have to say that there are sooooo many straight men who want to have sex with me. Straight men love playing with a dick. If you are female with a dick then they pursue you like crazy. Most have no idea because I do not look male at all. But when I put my profile on dating sites, the straight men come from all directions. I have a couple of straight men I see regularly and I love them both. Labels are for pussies. Leave them all alone and let them have their fun.

Anonymous said...

Im a man and love being a man. I enjoy the company of other men. If I want the company of a woman, I want the real thing. Same goes for men, I want a man not some woman acting man. Men can be very compassionate and loving without being girly.

Jason said...

Spurt private mens club is a group for straight married aussie men 18-45 who like sex with other mem.

Anonymous said...

Great article. I am a straight guy who is very over sexed. If I can't bang a broad I do sometimes call a gay friend of mine and ask him to take care of it. He does. I am happy. He is happy. We are consenting adults and I have no problem with it.

Samuel Atwood said...

as i see it sexuality is common among all primates. Gay, Straight, Bi-sexual are simply behavioral orientations. the b.s. gay and bi-sexual people must endure isn't their problem....the problem lies inside the heads and hearts of those who would be judgmental of their behavior. every human is sexual....rather it happens with a same sex partner or an opposite sex partner is simply a choice made at the moment. too many people have discussed this "problem" for too long. put what ever label on it that makes you comfortable but it is still just human sexuality.

Russ said...

Seriosly...a blow job is a blow job! Someone who is secure enough with themself can deal with that!

Peter said...

One of the earlier above comments from Lex makes a very good point. Has there been any research as to how many men who identify themselves as "gay" have had sex with women? I think it would add further empirical evidence that "gay", "straight," "bisexual" are culturally imposed labels. Obviously, most of us have our preference as to which gender attracts us more, and we may agree that a male-female attraction predominates for the propagation of our species.

However, labels can be destructive as is self-evident from the struggle for equal rights from not being "straight." It was not in the distant past when "Bisexuality" was considered a sham. We are ALL gradually becoming more enlightened.

Anonymous said...

My point,I m 35,rêcently found out that i m bisexual.i hâte guys,i like real men like me,if i want something that looks like a woman i Will go for a. Woman.gays stop pretrnding like û are women,û néed a pussy to be one!!!!

Anonymous said...

There has been a lot of discussion in these posts about the usefulness of labels. In my opinion, sexuality is fluid, to a certain degree. i believe that anyone, regardless of orientation, is capable of experiencing physical pleasure with a partner of either gender. After all, bodies are bodies, orifices are orifices. i think Russ puts it best - a blow job is a blow job!

I identify as gay, as I don't feel physically or emotionally attracted to women, yet I imagine that under the right circumstances I could have sex with a woman - flesh is flesh after all. Many, if not most gay men had sex with women before coming out (and even after in some the case of some men). closeted gay men manage to have children, which means they achieved orgasm through heterosexual sex.

And yet....I believe labels are useful, because in the vast majority of cases they are pretty accurate!! If I could, in theory, successfully have sex with a woman, then why do I feel the need to label myself as gay? Why does any man? The answer is quite simple: my attraction to men (physical and emotional) is extremely strong, and my attraction to women is pretty much non-existent. I love my female friends, but I just don't look at women and think "Ooh, I'd like to kiss/touch/have sex with you", whereas with men, those impulses are very strong indeed. These feelings have not been "foisted" upon me by society, they are just the way I feel. And I feel that gay, not bisexual or straight, describes me very well.

It's quite simple really...if you are strongly attracted to the opposite sex and have negligible attraction to the your gender, then 'straight' is fairly accurate, no? Likewise, if you are strongly attracted to the same sex and negligibly so to the opposite, then 'gay' just about does it. And, if you are SIGNIFICANTLY attracted to BOTH sexes (by 'significantly', I mean that your attraction to each gender is strong enough that you would want to pursue) then 'bisexual' does the trick, even if you have a preference for one is stronger than for the other.

That pretty much covers the spectrum of sexual orientation, wouldn't you say? Of course, you may have a satisfying sexual encounter or two with the gender you don't normally go for, but your orientation would still be unchanged because you don't suddenly start lusting after or pursuing people of the gender. If you DO, then that indicates you are bisexual.



Anonymous said...

.....and the winner is...LABELS! I have just quite literally stumbled upon this site and have read through every comment made. Is it any wonder that so very many men are confused, not just about which "sexual category" they may (or may not) 'fit into'...but also about their very place in our modern society, their feelings, needs, desires, priorities, likes, dislikes, motivations, expectations, etc. , etc.

We Human Beings are all Sexual Beings...always have been, always will be. End of story.
Who we choose (or not choose) to be 'sexual' with is surely a matter of personal choice, who we may (or may not) find attractive, sexy, desireable, etc. must surely have its'foundations based on a whole huge range of contributing factors...and not just which particular set of genetalia another person may have.

I happen to find myself attracted to other guys for the particular attributes they may possess, including the physical. I also happen to find many women attractive, just not in a way that creates a desire in me to become physically sexual with them. That's just me being true to myself. So, where would the 'label-makers' place me ?? Metro, Hetero, Homo, Bi, Gay, Straight, Bent, Weird, Pervert, Fag, Queer, Confused..?

Whoever any of us 'sexual-beings' choose to be in any way intimate with, so long as it's safe,legal, consentual, does no harm, then that's enough, surely.

Forget the "labels", the oh-so-proper judgements of others (including churches & families!...they have enough hang-ups!) and just be who you are, what you are, where you are. Above all, BE YOURSELF and not the product of some judgemental bastards who wish to impose their mistaken 'values'& 'labels' on the rest of us.

Anonymous said...

I agree with the above post, in that being yourself is the most important thing. Never let people who hate you tell you who you are!

Sexuality is a very complex and wonderful thing, and people should have the right to express their identity in any way they see fit. If you don't like using labels, then don't! If you do, then do!

I am attracted to people, first and foremost. I love spending time with men and women, and I find both sexes attractive. BUT I find them attractive in different ways. With women, it's a much more platonic attraction, whereas with men it is very physical and romantic.

For this reason, I choose to call myself gay. I don't feel 'boxed in' by this label, I choose it of my own free will because I feel it reflects my orientation.

Having said this, I completely respect the right of the previous poster to defy labels. It is how he chooses to express his identity, and that is just fine!

Anonymous said...

My boyfriend of about 1 1/2 years told me a few months ago about his experimentation with men. The way he explained it, he was about 21 or 22 (he is now 26), went to a gay club, got drunk, and when he got hit on by some gay guys, didn't turn it down.
When he first told me, I had tunnel vision, my heart was beating a hundred miles a minute, and I felt like I was going to throw up, cry and scream all at the same time. I wasn't aware that this is a common thing with men, and I guess the thought scared me. My grandfather was gay. He left his wife and three kids and moved to California to live with a man. This crushed my grandmother's heart. She cried herself to sleep every night and ended up getting Parkinson’s disease at a young age (my family believes it was from the shock of finding out the truth about my grandfather and having to raise 3 kids on her own). I guess this scared me, and did not make me as understanding when he decided to open up to me.
One of the first things I asked him was if he was attracted to men, or bisexual. He assured me that he was not attracted to the average male—I asked him what kind of male he WAS attracted to—and he said that sometimes he will watch gay porn. My boyfriend wouldn't let them kiss him, and apparently the thought of ROMANTICALLY being with another man disgusts him...but sexually, it felt good. I told him I could relate because during a massage my female Masseuse got a little close and touchy and it felt really good…I didn’t get off, but I wanted to—and I am not at all attracted to middle aged Asian woman at all—but it was still exciting, erotic, and pleasurable for me. I would never consider myself a lesbian because I had this experience. I think it is completely normal. Most woman I have associated with in my life have had some kind of sexual experience with another female, and no one would consider them lesbians---
My boyfriend opened up to me because he wants to spend the rest of his life with me. He loves me, and shows me kindness, understanding, and affection like no other man I have ever known. He is so open-minded and free spirited; he is a hard worker and enjoys football and beer. He loves my figure, and my curves. He is deeply attracted to me. He doesn’t judge people, and he has made me into a better person.
I am still getting used to this news...and most days I wish he never told me at all because the thought of my boyfriend being with a man truly makes me sick to my stomach. But he is the best thing that ever happened to me and I am not going to throw that away because he decided to experiment his sexual preference years before we met each other.
Some days I have nightmares (or daydream-mares) that he has sex with men behind my back--like I have read about so many married men doing this—he has already tried it, and said that it’s “not for him”. He has experimented, gotten it off his chest, and is no longer curious. He is 1000 percent sure that he wants to spend the rest of his life with me, and making me happy ( I know because I found the ring :).
I made my way to this page because I have been researching about this. Some days the thought of my boyfriend having been with another man haunts me more than other days, and this is why I either have to talk to someone, or just have someone tell me that it is OKAY. Hearing and reading that it is perfectly natural and normal helps a lot too and is a little more comforting and it is making this news a little easier for me to be okay with. Just writing this was therapy in itself. Even if no one reads. But for those of you who did…Thanks for listening!!!

Anonymous said...

Lol gay is 100% genetic. Society has become so obsessed with gay that most gay men dont even think they are gay because of how the media has portrayed gay men as being hyper feminine and outrageous over exaggeration. Second men are all raised to become heterosexual this is firmly instilled in everyone. Growing thinking your supposed to be a certain way and wanting it that badly ends up it closeted homosexuality...After the age of 13 your not confused anymore just terrified and consciously ignorant to the fact that you are not heterosexual. Most closeted men dont think they are gay because they have never acted on it along with most closeted married men do not consider it cheating because "they arnt gay". Gay isnt a feeling of cheer rainbows and dance. It a sexual physical emotional attraction to the same sex that is embedded genetically there is no cure there is no therapy that will reverse it. Its not easy accepting a word you were taught to hate most gay men never will. Whats is I find the most crazy is all the lies created, marriage, children, families, and the fact the only people who know who these men are are the random men they meet for sex...

Anonymous said...

i am certain that str8 "boys" especially early in their teens masterbate with each other. my best friend growing up who is str8 str8 str8,was obsessed with masterbating with me and wanted me to "do him and he did me".. ,(we were maybe 11,12y/o)at the time we were masterbating with each other. he was obsessed with girls. and that never changed. boys will be boys,it was knew,we were kids and we had this one thing on our minds and we TRUSTED EACH OTHER...

Anonymous said...

this in response to the man who was punched in the jaw and more suddenly after some flirting a the other man strongly suggesting they attempt a sexual iencounter. what happen to him was real..i believe you are describing homosexual panic. it is a very real and can be a very real danger. people who have this(and it is not something that happens often,esp to the same person)will lose control and act out violently. you are lucky he did not hurt you worse. i hope he got help.he is prob gay or bi but can not handle this psychologically...

Anonymous said...

lastly about all of these str8 guys and gay sex..it is simple in my view. str8 guys and gals have sex with the opposite sex. gays with the same sex...bi's with both..they are not str8 they are just having their cake and eating it too. the may have only romantic attraction to women and/or both..but they are bi...i think the reason why alot of gay men like the idea of str8 guys having sex with them is that it is fantasy fullfilling. if they see it as a bi guy which is what they are the fanasy is lessened but i certainly don't want to put a damper on fantasies. however we have enough confusion about this stuff. we need to be clear..peace

Anonymous said...

to the anonymous girl in love with the guy who said he has had sex with guys and ikes gay porn. my thoughts are he is romantically attracted to you and loves you and wanted to be honest because it is so important. the divorce rate is 50%,but mostly because people are dishonest,not because there might be one spouse somewhat bi...i think love is about sacrifice. but a lifetime is too long to promise anything. it is part of romantic fantasy. i know,i am a romantic. love each other,love each other today. support and grow together and above all allow for the both of you to be honest with each other. no matter what. that is the cement. sex is fleeting. when you are having you 50th anaversary it will be nothing compared to the honesty and trust. bi or not. now that means if you demand it that he sacrifice that bi part. if it is not about romance and you would know,then you have as good a chance as any. probably alot more! good luck,love conquers...

Anonymous said...

My husband and I have been together for 26 years. Two days ago I found out that he's been having sex with men in the woods at a local gay cruising spot. When I confronted him, he admitted it (not immediately, but eventually). He says he's been doing it for about 2 years (which likely means it's a lot longer). However, he insists that he's NOT gay. I say anyone who has been having gay sex for that length of time IS gay. I have evidence that he goes there sometimes 3 and 4 days in a row, and sometimes more than once a day. He says he will NEVER do it again and wants me to stay. He's already wasted 26 years of my life . . . is he gay or not? When does a straight man having gay sex become a gay man?

Anonymous said...

I had a two girlfriends and two boyfriends. One I had was a cousin who is blond, tan and brown eyes and very handsome,and the other was a flat top style hair, white and brown eyes and brown hair and muscular, and slender, and my girlfriend was half German and the other girlfriend was Indian. But, I was never lucky finding mates here in United States because something prevents. Because I do not want to generalize. I am learning a lot about you.

Anonymous said...

I identify as a gay man BUT I have been married, divorced, in a long term gay relationship and adore both men and women. I am well educated and can assure those people who have not experienced same gender sex that sex with men and women feels quite different. I enjoy both for quite different reasons. Some cultures talk about duty with a women but enjoyment with a man. I agree!

Anonymous said...

Just found out my boyfriend of ten years has been having sex with t girls & men . It has been going on for two years. He will not talk about it. Is he gay?

Anonymous said...

The reason for the "mystery" is because most people have their terminology all screwed up. To get it right, G00GLE g0ys (spelled w. a zer0). Then it all makes sense.

Paula Scribner said...

I found out my husband of 25 years has been having sex with men for at least the past 10 years, most likely from the beginning. I don't care what you label yourself or if you have sex with a Donkey.If you are NOT in an open relationship and haven't disclosed your sexual identity or your inability to commit it is WRONG. If you agree to be in a monogamous relationship and you desire to have sex outside of that relationship, you need to give your partner FULL DISCLOSURE or leave the relationship. It is not a matter or gay, straight, bi, it's a matter of integrity, which sadly this world is lacking. Gay, straight or bi's you have no right to make a choice for someone who has not been given all the facts.

Anonymous said...

I agree with Paula ^ I too just recently found out back in April that my boyfriend has been going on Craigslist posting ads for other men. I definitely think that this is crap and he should just came to me instead of doing it behind my back!!! he apologized, say it was a one time thing anyways just curious what I don't understand how it could be a one time thing when there is about five or six different messages from different men for him. you guys gotta realize that you may want to get your dick sucked or f*** somebody up the ass but you're hurting your wife and your girlfriends hearts really badly by doing it behind their back!!! you guys are doing this need to man up and be honest with your significant other what's the point of being with them if you can't be truthful!!!!

Anonymous said...

I caught my man too, this is ridiculous I don't understand why they can't be truthful and come in tell us before breaking our hearts into a million pieces!!!

Nicholas Baker said...

I agree that there are varying degrees of sexuality, but there are some of us who are 100%. I am gay, I have never had sex with a woman and would never want to. Someone commented that love is love and an orifice is an orifice. First of all, ew, second of all EW NO!

And if you're not getting everything you need from your relationship then you shouldn't be in one. Be single and sleep around, that's fine, no one will judge. But if you're involved and sleeping around I will judge you. Because you're a cheat and a liar and don't deserve to be in a relationship... Unless you both do it. Which I guess is then you're own business.

Man, that was a good rant. Who's next?! :-D

Unknown said...

send em my way ;)

Anonymous said...

I hate putting labels on people, was married for 20 years before I went to a adult bookstore and went in a booth and put in some tokens and started watching a gay movie and got so hard, pulled out my cock and was really turned on by it, look thru a hole a see another guy doing same thing, reaches over and rubs hole and I didn't know what it meant but figured it out pretty fast and in a flash had my cock being worked on by an expert cocksucker , I have went back a dozen times at least and always have the best orgasm of my life, told my wife and she said I was just curious, well a couple of weeks ago I fucked my best friend in the ass and it was some of the tightest ass I've ever had , what I am

Anonymous said...

I have been in love and making love with my best friend for 27 years, that's before either of us was married.

We are buddies, like brothers and have a bond so unique it is hard to describe. Neither one of us want to go out and have sex with another man as we love each other. Our families are fiends, we take trips together, and we each have good marriages (25 years each). Are we gay,no offense to gays but I don't feel it. I love him and my wife.

The ONLY bad part is my buddy still has that Christian guilt. For those that say he should this is the only vice we each have (no gambling, over drinking, drugs).

That is my story

ToMMy BoY said...

As a masculine gay guy, I'm open about my sexuality and never really encountered any problems from it. Which is somewhat surprising, conidering I'm from the South. All of my friends accept me for who I am.
Most of my straight guy friends I'll tease and even flirt with every now and then. They know that I'm just messing around with them. Some of them, I know, like the attention. But I would never cross the line or risk jeopardizing our friendships.
Those of my straight friends that I have taken it a step further with, it is always them that makes the first move. I know that they are attracted to girls, but girls don't always put out. However, guys are always horny and in the mood for sex, whether we're gay or straight. And having a buddy like me around to fool around with with no strings attached, they don't have to go elsewhere looking for it from strangers.
This happens a lot more than women realize. Luckily, I'm fairly good looking and not "obvious." I was hanging out with a couple of my straight buddies at the mall and this flamboyant gay guy happened to walk past us. One of them turned to me and said, "At least with you, you can't tell..." I had to laugh about it and give them a hard time. They weren't trying to be mean or anything. But I do believe it does help them with being more comfortable having a "bromance" with a gay guy like me. All of them are extremely attractive and have absolutely no problem getting girls. But there are just some things that even girlfriends can't give them that a bromance can.

Little Emperor said...

I'm a gay guy , and I must admit I used to be quite flamboyant, meaning I am obvious but still reserved... but now I choose to be discreet, as strange as it sounds but having met a straight acting gay guy who is a lot older than me gave me the thought that being discreet is more comfortable ,no offense to flamboyant gays out there.... Well, back in college days, i had a classmate , a straight guy who for a long time was never a friend.. But when we were in third year college , all of a sudden he'd been hanging around with me and my friends in the classroom , apparently that time his relationship with his gf was on the rocks but they were still together. One day, in biochemistry class , we were all done with the experiment and everybody was busy answering questions on the lab manual and some tucking away lab materials and lab gowns... I was stood by the table , thinking so hard to answer the questionnaires , when suddenly he came to me , and embraced me from my back... oh dear his masculine scent from his perfume made my heart beat fast ! but I kept my cool lol, so his face was very close to my cheeks and I could smell his breath, I swear my knees shook haha ! Then I realized all of a sudden that something hard was pressed against my back , not my bum ok lol... and I could tell he had a hard on , I was like , why is he pressing his woody against my back.
He is not the best looking guy , just average looks I would say , got chinky eyes and medium built body, and if I'm not mistaken he is about 5'2" tall...
Nothing else happened after that.... until,,, one day when I came back in the classroom from the review for the quiz bee, as I walked in the room , the rest of the class was about , I saw him with his gf , his one arm around the girl's shoulder , then he approached me , and hugged me and kissed me ! much to my astonishment ! , it was just a smack though , but i felt his wet lips against mine, then he said , good luck.. then he walked past me. his gf was at his back, and gave me that strange grin...
Months passed , we jumped to 4th year... He and his gf finally broke up... we became close, in fact so close that my other friends got jealous and it became a big issue among us.. But despite the closeness we had, probably he saw me as a shoulder to cry on or a buddy to hang around with, no more kisses transpired.. But there were times we sleep next to each other and at times even embrace while next to each other. I honestly fell for him , maybe I misconstrued his good company, and I'm sure that was the reason why the kisses have gone, he prolly thought it would have lead to something else. But never an instance that I had sexual advances on him,, but many times he accused me of looking at his crotch ! well I honestly did sometimes hehe... We stayed friends. But years have passed and we lost communication. he's on my fb but we haven't chatted for a very long time.

Anonymous said...

It was nearly college graduation time when this experience happened.. One morning, I woke up early in the morning , prolly around 6am, a text message from my female friend. It was a shock as her text message said she wouldn't be able to join us on graduation day. Naturally I asked why , she replied saying she got an incomplete grade from cwts class (community works). So I zapped to the shower , dressed up and stormed to the University to see what I could do to help her out. One other female friend came as well..
So when I came to the University, I went up the stairs , two stair steps at a time to the 4th floor , where my friend said where she was.
I thought she was in our org office , so that's where I proceeded. The door was open so I walked in. To my surprise, this guy was seated on the long table in the office, he is a third year student and the newly elected President of the org. I asked if he saw my friend. He said yes but she left the office couple of minutes ago.
I was tired from my journey and my huge steps to get to the university as fast as I could, so I was panting and drenched in sweat. This guy , we aren't friends, but we get along well as we regularly see each other around the building and being both officers of the org we were in.
Then he asked me to sit next to him so he could wipe off my sweat with my handkerchief. Then we chatted for a short while , then my phone beeped , my friend sent a text saying she was in the dean's office. So I told the guy that I had to go. He said, do you really have to go , said it with a long face , he was obviously feeling down at that time. I said sorry but I have to. He said OK, but I won't let you leave without kissing me.
I thought he was fooling around, but I kissed him on his right cheek, just a friendly kiss. But, he asked, why on the cheek ? don't you want to kiss my lips?
I was taken aback ! But I got excited too. First time a guy asked me to kiss him lips to lips.
Well, I was playing innocent so I pecked on his lips.
But he was dissatisfied. He said, why too quick ? I want a longer one. Then I was shocked that he grabbed me by my neck and we kissed , longer this time, his lips were wet and I felt his tongue. It felt great.
Then he released me and asked if we can go home together coz he lives not too far from my where I live at.
The day finished, and my friend sorted out her problem. I met him at the office. But as we, and my two female friends descended the stairs , his female friend turned up and said they have something important to talk about. I was disappointed. But he had to do what he had to do. We would have hang out together that day, not necessarily be naughty but could have had a great chat while on the way home. But things happen as they should. He's a dad now, but as far as I know , not in a committed relationship with neither sexes.

Anonymous said...

I think two factors are manipulating these figures.

Firstly, gay men must be inflating the statistics in this 'research' to flatter themselves and satisfy their own fantasies of having sex with straight men.

Straight men are attracted to women, gay men are attracted to men, and bisexual men are attracted to both sexes. Simple.

This leads me to my next point.

I think there must be a lot of bisexual men who identify as straight, because a number of these men are having, and enjoy having, sex with other men. By definition this means they can't be straight, so in reality, it's just bisexual men having sex with other men. This is increasingly happening as more men are allowing themselves to become sexually liberal without suppressing their urges.

I think a small number of men are completely, 100 per cent straight, and a number fall somewhere else on the scale.

Obviously, this person 'thinks' too much without doing his own research. My suggestion is, think less and learn more!

Anonymous said...

Anonymous said...
Great article. I am a straight guy who is very over sexed. If I can't bang a broad I do sometimes call a gay friend of mine and ask him to take care of it. He does. I am happy. He is happy. We are consenting adults and I have no problem with it.

December 30, 2012 at 5:37 PM


I wish I could find a buddy like you! Too many married men who are interested in sex with men are looking to get fucked. I would love to find a nice married dude who loves my ass and has little interest in my cock. Just sayin.

Gary said...

We're born with the genes of both parents. I think its natural to be turned on by an attractive person, whether that are Gay or Straight.

Acting on it, is a different subject.